"Some women like tall men, some like short men. Some like hairy men, some like bald men. Gentle men, rough men, ugly men, pretty men... Pretty girls! Most women don't know what they like until they've tried. And, sadly, so many of us get to try so little before we're old and grey..."
if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties